08 | Focus On Yourself, Not Others and Here's How -

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Table of Contents

Podcast Description

This online space makes it incredibly easy to compare yourself to others, so naturally when you see someone else succeeding, it makes you wish you could already be at that point too.

However, I strongly encourage you to challenge yourself to focus on yourself instead of others and in this episode, you’re going to learn the reasons why you need to do this and how to do it.

Get ready for a pep talk I’m incredibly passionate about. Let’s do this!

Connect with me:

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Episode Transcript

(Note: This is a formatted AI-generated transcript to make it easier for you to read through, but is not an optimized blog post. Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors and filler words – it’s just how I speak LOL)

Episode Introduction

This online space makes it incredibly easy for you to compare yourself to others, so naturally when you see someone else succeeding, it makes you wish you could already be at that point too.

However, I strongly encourage that you challenge yourself to only focus on yourself instead of others. And in this episode, you’re going to learn the real reasons why you really need to strive to do this and exactly how to do it. Get ready for a pep talk that I am incredibly passionate about so let’s do this.

Hey, I’m Lucy Reyes, your host of the Cheerful Productive Chats Podcast, where I’m on a mission to help online entrepreneurs like you focus on all the right things and kiss overwhelm goodbye. Here, you’re going to learn strategies that will boost your productivity so that you can scale your online biz and impact lives sooner.

It’s your time to shine! So let’s get started.

What does it mean to focus on yourself?

Hey, welcome back to the Cheerful Productive Chats Podcast, episode eight. Today’s topic is something that I’m pretty passionate about and I may go off on a little tangent if I’m being honest. So this is your warning up front, but you know what? I did say that I’ll be dropping in some pep talks here and there. So yeah, this is one of them.

So let’s talk about why you need to focus on yourself and stop focusing on others. But first, what do I even mean by this?

Well, I’m talking about comparison. That big C word. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing where you are at and comparing it to where someone else is at. Stop comparing your success to someone else’s.

This is not doing you any, any good. Okay. So this is what I mean when I’m saying to focus on yourself and stop focusing on others. Okay. You need to worry about your own goals, your own wins, what you’re doing, what you’re accomplishing, all those things for yourself.

If you were busy focusing on what someone else is doing and what someone else’s goals are or what they’ve achieved, then you’re taking that time away from doing something for yourself and for your own business.

But look, I know that this is going to happen, right? This is going to come up so, so many times. It’s one of those things that’s like not really going to stop. You’re always going to have that temptation of wanting to compare yourself to someone just because you, maybe you see someone else in a Facebook group.

Maybe, it’s someone that you kind of became friends with or you have seen around and you know, that you guys started at the same time. And so now you’re seeing how maybe they’re a little bit more ahead of you or perhaps it’s the opposite, and maybe you’re the one that’s ahead of them.

Why do we even tend to compare ourselves to others in business?

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we tend to compare ourselves to others in business?

Culprit #1: Facebook Groups

Facebook groups are a big reason. Like I just said, you probably see someone hanging around in these Facebook groups and you see their success or their non-success, and now you’re comparing right.

Culprit #2: Social Media

Social media is another one. You are on social media and you’re scrolling and you may be seeing some fabulous lifestyle. And sure, all of these stories are like pretty inspirational, right?

But at the same time you might be thinking like, uh, like I wish I was there already. Like I, I myself am a pretty impatient person.

So I totally get it about, you know, wanting to be at a certain level by a certain time, or maybe it’s like that need, right? Like you need to be at a certain level.

Culprit #3: Income Reports

The other thing that is contributing to this is income reports. So there are so many people out there that share their income reports to kind of show you, hopefully, the ones that you’re reading are coming from people that want to show you what is possible versus, you know, coming at it from a way of bragging.

The only thing I’ll note here though, is when you take a look at these income reports, make sure that you’re seeing how much money they have invested as well. Be careful of any income reports that only give you the revenue because there is almost, I don’t know.

Probably no business out there that is making a significant amount of money without investing at all. Or at least whenever they first started making money, there’s going to be a very, very, very small percentage of people that actually were able to start making money before they had to invest some kind of money.

So these are the three reasons why we probably are always tempted to compare ourselves to others, right? These three things, Facebook groups, social media, and income reports are always in our face.

Why You NEED to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

But it’s so important for you to stop comparing yourself. Okay.

Focusing on others is a waste of time

It is a waste of time. Yes. Yes. I’m going there. I am going there because it is true. Because what happens? When you compare yourself to others, what is happening? How does that make you feel?

More than likely, it’s de-motivating you. Instead of seeing someone and you’re thinking all these negative thoughts, which is completely normal, by the way, it doesn’t make you a bad person, but a part of you does wish that you were there too, right?

And if you’re on the opposite side. So if you are feeling like you are a little bit more ahead than your peers, then maybe it does kind of give you a little bit of a confidence boost, but maybe also makes you feel guilty because you’re like, uh, you know, I wish I could bring you along with me. But that’s just not possible.

So comparing yourself really brings in all these different emotions that are just wasting your energy. They’re wasting your time, and it’s energy and time that could be better spent doing something else.

Everyone has different life circumstances and situations

The other thing is that everyone has different circumstances, different situations.

The bottom line is you don’t know their life. No matter who you’re comparing yourself to, no matter how much they post on social media, no matter how much they share about their personal life. You still don’t know their life.

They could be the most honest person and we still don’t know what their circumstances are, what their situation is. You don’t know exactly what is going on in their life. And absolutely everything makes a difference in how someone will perform with their business. Okay.

Everything that is happening in their life and how they are as a person, all the stuff that is happening around them is what’s, you know, kind of determining where they are at now. So there’s no, like, there’s not even a way for you to compare yourself apples to apples, to somebody else, because it’s just not possible, which makes it an even bigger waste of time.

So when you start comparing yourself to others, you’ll actually end up feeling happier and more confident because you are just focusing on yourself.

You’re focusing on what you can do, what you’re achieving, your own goals. And they kind of help you zone in on your small improvements because any growth is growth, right? You could be taking baby steps and that’s still better than taking no steps.

Can help you avoid entrepreneurial burnout

You’ll also avoid burnout, because what if you’re following this person and you are trying to mimic what they’re doing because you see them being successful, and so now you’re trying to do all of the different things, and now you’re just burning yourself out.

And it’s even worse when that thing that you’re doing isn’t even in alignment with what you want and what you envisioned for yourself. Let me give you an example.

I love being intentional with time, right? That is what I am all about so it would make absolutely no sense if I am trying to be on every single social media platform, if I am trying to post a blog post every single day for SEO.

If I’m trying to get a podcast episode out, maybe two to three times a week, because all these gurus are telling me that I need to post consistently and consistently means every single day. Right.

That is not in alignment with the way I want to live in my life. So instead, I focus on the strategies that are in alignment with the way I want to run my business, the way I want my life to be.

And it helps me really open my eyes to those possibilities versus chasing what everyone else is telling me to do. And then I follow suit because well, hey, they’re successful. Right? No. That’s your mind playing tricks on you because you’re comparing yourself.

Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

So, how do we do this? How do we stop comparing yourself? I know that I just went on and just told you a whole bunch of things to stop. Stop comparing yourself, but how? I know it is so hard to not compare yourself and I know that you’re going to do it again.

I mean, I do it too. I do it too. But you have to learn to catch yourself so that way you can stop doing it as often as you probably are right now, or at least being able to completely change it around as fast as possible.

Remember the reasons why you should stop comparing

So just remember everything that I mentioned, that’s your first tip. Like just remember this episode. Remember when the reasons why you need to stop comparing.

The most important thing is you don’t know their life. If you get anything out of this episode, it’s to remember that you cannot compare yourself to someone else.

You cannot compare your success to someone else’s because you and that person live completely different lives and every single thing that’s happening to you, to them, your circumstances, your situations, that all impacts your success. So there’s no way that you can truly compare yourself apples to apples with someone else. Okay.

Be aware of your feelings towards others success stories

The next thing is that if you’re reading something, it can be, an income report or it could be, you know, one of those inspirational social media posts that saying how much money I’ve made, and, you know, I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to do X, Y, Z with my business.

If those posts, if that type of content makes you feel some type of way, if it gives you the opposite effect from what they are trying to achieve, you know, which is they’re trying to be inspirational, but if instead you read it or you see it and you’re actually not motivated, perhaps you’re feeling a little salty.

Then stop reading them. Okay. If you find yourself feeling that type of way,

then that’s not your type of content. It’s not what you should be reading. It’s not inspirational for you. It’s not motivational for you. And that’s okay. It’s okay.

So those are really the main big two tips that I have for you. I know it’s not much. I know, because this is one of those mindset things that’s really going to be something that you have to work on consistently, because like I said, it’s not going away.

You’re always going to find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, but it’s really important that you do remember that someone else’s success isn’t your success and they might not even have the same goals as you. Okay. So that’s another thing that I actually didn’t mention.

They might not even have the same goals as you. So while you’re over here assuming what their goals are, or you think that, you know, what their goals are. Goals could be so many different things, right? And it goes well beyond than just making 10,000 a month or whatever it is for you. Because there are so many different ways that you can get there too.

Practice positive affirmations

Another thing that you can do is practice positive affirmations. Remind yourself that you are good, you are great. And you were doing amazing things. And so if writing affirmations helps you with this, that’s something else that you can do.

You can journal. I love journaling. I journal every morning and yes, there are times where I am feeling down and I will write down my positive affirmations.

You can tell yourself and remind yourself that you are doing great things. You’re doing big things. You are just courageous for being an entrepreneur, first of all. Okay.

So, if you’re listening to this episode, it means you’re an online entrepreneur, which is pretty brave because I don’t know about you, but from what I hear and from what I’ve seen, a lot of judgment comes whenever you joined the online space.

Especially, if you start off as something you know, if you started as a blogger, as an influencer, as a content creator, you kind of get looked at like, oh, like, how are you going to make money? Right. And then you do it anyway.

So you were courageous. So that alone is like, I don’t know, you can hear me clapping, but I am clapping. Like that is something to be proud of. Okay.

Episode Wrap-Up

So, don’t compare yourself. Focus on yourself. Focus on your own goals. Focus on your own achievements. Stop comparing yourself to others as much as possible.

If you find yourself comparing yourself or focusing on others, or really just going into this negative,this negative state of mind, whenever you see someone else succeeding and you feel like you’re falling behind, feel free to come back to this episode and hear me kind of, I don’t know if I’m screaming, but in your ear, telling you to stop.

Everything that you’re doing matters. It matters to you. It matters to your family and it matters to the people that you are serving. So focus on that. Okay.

Now take a screenshot of this episode. Tag me on Instagram @cheerstoblogging and tell me that you’re going to try and try and try your very best to stop comparing yourself to others. Okay. I’ll be on the lookout for your screenshots.

And thank you so much for listening, I’ll talk to you again next week.

Thank you so much for listening to the Cheerful Productive Chats Podcast with me, Lucy Reyes. To view the complete show notes, visit www.cheerstoproductivity.com/8. And before you go, make sure you subscribe wherever you’re listening so you know once the next productive chat is released. Talk soon and cheers to your productivity and success!

References

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