Rest Isn’t Laziness: Stop Feeling Guilty for Slowing Down | 133

(Note: This is a formatted and slightly edited, AI-generated transcript to make it easier for you to read through. Please excuse any spelling, grammar errors and filler words – it’s just how I speak LOL)

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If you’re a solopreneur that’s been feeling guilty for taking it easy, whether it’s because of back to school, a full schedule, or just life being a lot, this episode’s for you, especially if you’ve been juggling all of that, all of the real-life things, and you need permission to slow down. I’m going to be sharing what’s been helping me, including five affirmations I say every single morning, so you’re gonna wanna grab a pen for this one

Are you tired of competing priorities, a messy task list, and constantly feeling behind? Hey, I’m Lucy Reyes, and I help overwhelmed solopreneurs embrace faith-led productivity through simple systems for life, home, and business. So if you’re ready to clarify your priorities, honor your energy, and feel accomplished every single day, welcome to the Cheers to Better Systems podcast.

Hey, hey. Welcome, welcome back. I’m so, so excited about this episode because it has been quite a few weeks. It’s been quite the chaos and busyness that life loves to bring, especially in changing seasons. And so a lot of members in my free community have told me that they do feel guilty the second that they ease off, the minute that they step off the pedal, because they feel like something’s going to fall apart.

And spoiler alert, that’s not always the case. The world is not going to come crashing down if you take it easy, if you slow down. But I do understand where you’re coming from, and so do the hundreds of solopreneurs inside of the Real Life Productivity Lounge. It’s my free community where we talk about what it looks like to juggle real life and even get time back in our days without the overwhelm.

So to join us, simply head to cheerstoproductivity.com/community and you’ll get to be a part of it. It’s completely free, so come get inside. So with that out of the way, let’s talk about what has been going on. So back to school just happened at the time of recording this, and I knew going in that there was going to be so much adjusting to routines, schedules, um, you know, the post school attitudes because of crankiness and just them being filled up with all of this learning and rules all day.

So just so much going on, right? The logistics of having to get my daughter to school. She started kindergarten. Yay. And now we have to get her to school by a specific time. My son has football practice early, early mornings on most days, but not all the days. So like, who’s taking him to practice and who’s driving who to school, whether it’s the bus…

And the bus, you know, if your child is a bus driver, that… or a bus rider, then you know that the bus schedules can be pretty wacko the first few weeks, and they’re picking up s- kids late, they’re dropping them off home late, and that messes up with a whole lot of things, right? So this is The chaos that has been going on in my home present day.

So they get home. My daughter had recently dropped her nap, so she’s no longer taking a nap in kindergarten, which is a whole another thing, because now she’s cranky. She’s cranky when she gets home. She’s easily triggered. She’s having to go to sleep way sooner than ever, and it’s, it’s actually pretty challenging for us.

Um, so yeah, this is my back to school chaos, and I know that there’s some sort of chaos happening with you, too. Maybe not right now. Maybe it’s about to. Maybe it just passed. But there always seems to be moments where there’s just a lot going on, and that a lot is just one piece. That’s just one piece of my life, your life.

There’s also the business side of our lives. There’s also the taking care of ourselves side of our lives, right? And so when we have all of this going on, it is so easy to put yourself last because you feel like you have to take care of everyone else first. However, you have to take care of yourself, too, so that way you can be actually present and actually mindfully good for everyone that you’re trying to take care of.

But if you’re not taking care of yourself, then you’re not showing up as the best version of yourself to your loved ones. So sometimes that means that we have to be okay with taking it easy. Okay? And I know that is so, so hard to do because, again, from conversations that I’ve been having in the community, it’s not really just about taking it easy that is hard.

It’s the guilt that comes with it. It’s the guilt around not getting things done, the guilt around resting or taking time to spend on the couch. It’s the guilt around everything that comes with taking it easy, right? And that guilt really comes from the things that we are telling ourselves, the things that we’re letting ourselves believe.

We are allowing ourselves to feel guilty for slowing down.

And I think part of where that guilt comes from is that we’ve confused rest and stillness with something that it’s not. So let’s actually talk about what the Bible means when it says lazy. So this morning, actually, I had to tweak this a little bit because this morning I read a verse in Proverbs 18:9 which says, “A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.”

And I was thinking about the word laziness a lot because I feel like it has become almost like a bit of a buzzword lately, as if it’s fine to be lazy, but it still has a bad connotation. So it’s kind of like, is it bad or is it not? And in the Bible, it specifically says that laziness is bad. However, we do need to really move to understand how the word is being used in the Bible.

Like, what is this true laziness that it is referring to, okay? So for one, hustle culture exists because people don’t want to appear lazy. And it being in the Bible in this way could be one reason. It feels like it’s so bad. So what do people do? You push, you push, you push, you add more to the plate, and then you burn out.

But that’s not what God wants us to do. Like, God himself rested. God himself says that he wants us to be still. He wants us to, to rest. If we’re burning out, that is a sign that we are actually not doing things that are with God. Burnout is a sign that you are doing something apart from God because he doesn’t want that for us.

So here’s what I believe biblical laziness actually is. So one, it’s to avoid responsibility, to refuse to act when an action is truly needed, which we’re gonna talk about, ignoring wisdom and choosing comfort over growth. So For example, avoiding responsibility and then refusing to act when action is truly needed.

There is an example that I want to give you of picking up my daughter from school. So there’s things that we add to our plates, right? And there’s things that God tells us to do. There’s things that He tells us to move. And so for example, my daughter, I try to pick her up from childcare by 5:00 PM. Do I need to pick her up by 5:00 PM?

No. So if I’m laying down watching TV at 5:00 and the show’s really good, it’s about, you know, it’s about to get to that cliffhanger. I’m gonna watch a few more minutes. but this is intentional. This is intentional me time before the kids come home, before my husband gets home. Like, this is intentional Lucy time to rest, relax, recharge And then I pick up my daughter at 5:15.

That wasn’t laziness, in my opinion. However, she does need to be picked up from school by 6:30 PM, because that is the time that they close. So at that point, it is a need. So there’s a difference between a want and a need, right? We don’t need to go through that. I want and I like to pick her up by 5:00 PM because why?

Because I feel like it makes the schedule, the routine, like that feels like the perfect time to bring her home, get started with dinner, let her relax at home, you know, calm down. She likes to play or color and, you know, we eat dinner at a good time. She gets ready for bed, and we’re all able to eat dinner together, et cetera.

That is what I want. But the true actual need is for her to be picked up by 6:30. So if I were to then, same example, be watching TV, I don’t want … I don’t pick her up by 6:30 because I was just laying in bed, relaxing, watching TV, at that point, that is not being responsible, right? I’m not being a responsible parent to pick her up by that time.

So I don’t know if that was the best example, but that was the one that came to my mind as I was thinking about this word this morning, and just the difference between taking intentional rest, intentional stillness, intentional self-care time, and how that’s different than avoiding responsibilities and refusing to act when s- when an action is actually needed.

Those are very, very different things. I believe this verse, you know, it says, “Laziness is as bad as someone who destroy things.” Why? Because when God tells us to move, we’re supposed to move, and if we don’t move, then that’s disobedience, and disobedience is not good, right? So there, this is the type of laziness that I believe it talks about.

So it’s different than resting and stillness. Okay? So the point is that taking it easy when you need to because you feel like you’re getting close to burnout because you haven’t taken time for yourself, you haven’t practiced any self-care, that is not the laziness that this verse is talking about. Ignoring what God is actually asking of you is. God might be telling you to move to the couch because girl, you are too tired to do anything else. Like, girl, go. This morning, I was very tired. I had to wake up very early, earlier than I like, and to take my son to school because, again, the back to school chaos.

Um, so had to wake up earlier than I usually do, came home, or did my walk, did my Bible study, and then afterwards it’s time for me to work. But I was, like, so tired, and I said, “You know what?” I’m not going to be able to show up to, as my best self, to record these podcast episodes where I try to be very energetic, very out, bubbly, like outgoing.

Like I don’t know if outgoing is the right word because I’m recording through a microphone. But you know, I try to be very energetic in my episodes, and I was not feeling that. So in that moment, I felt like God told me, “Girl, move to the bed and take a nap.” And so I did. I took a 30-minute nap, and now I’m back, and now I feel great.

And now I feel like I can deliver the best version of these episodes because I’m not feeling tired. So sometimes we’re ignoring what God is actually telling us to do because we think it’s laziness when it’s not. So I think it’s a very, very important that we don’t put these two things together. Okay?

And so if taking it easy isn’t the laziness that we’ve been feeling guilty about and guilting ourselves over, then what do we do with that guilt once we finally let it go? Well, in Matthew 12:43-44 it says, “When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, seeking rest but finding none.”

then it says, “I will return to the person I came from. So it returns and finds its former home empty, swept, and in order.” So this is basically saying you need to refill the empty space that you just cleared out. You just said, “You know what? I am filled with guilt. I’m gonna shove that guilt out.” But that guilt is gonna come right back unless you fill it up with something good, with something else

So once you release the guilt, because now you know rest is not laziness, it’s not the same type of laziness that these verses in the Bible are referring to and warning you against, but you still need to refill that space with something true, something good, something that is worth believing it.

What is the opposite of guilt? What is something that will help you feel better, right? What is the thing that is going to replace the guilt that you just got rid of? So you wanna picture this as a literal hole in maybe your mind, your feelings, wherever you wanna picture the hole in your body, but you’re clearing it out, right?

There’s guilt filled in that little bowl in your brain, and you’re literally dumping it out. And if you don’t put something back into the bowl, the guilt is going to come right back.

So here is one way to do this before and after this happens, before and after the guilt and the hustle culture creeps back in once you have chosen to let it go. And I do this every single morning, which is affirmations. I recite affirmations. I’ve been doing this for months, and this is how you refill the space that you just cleared out.

You have to tell yourself things that you actually believe or that you want to believe. In the next episode, I’m actually going to go deeper into affirmations itself, but in this episode, I just wanted to ev- just give you the ones that I say, the ones that help me not feel guilty for resting, for being still, for all of those things.

Like, I literally say this every morning, and my husband says these exact ones every morning as well, because a few months ago, we realized, oh, we, we need to work on this ourselves as well. So these are the affirmations. So I want you to write them down. I want you to say this somewhere, so that way you can repeat it for yourself.

So the five affirmations that I say every morning are: I do not carry what isn’t mine. Stillness is not laziness, it’s trust. I don’t make decisions from fear. Rest is part of my obedience. My worth is not measured by output or income Those are the five affirmations I say, and I’m gonna go through each one again and just give you a little bit of context as to what I feel like it means for me, and hopefully that resonates with you, too.

So I do not carry what isn’t mine. Me and my husband, we’re very empathetic people, and we care very deeply about the people around us, our loved ones, our friends and family. And sometimes we’ll see them making choices that we would have made different choices . Right? Like, we can see… You know, for example, I…

We can see people who are going through their own burnout, who are stressed out, who are overwhelmed, and we don’t, we don’t like to see that, obviously, right? So it was getting to a point where we were letting their stress, their overwhelm, their lack of feeling secure affect us, and now we’re stressed, and we’re overwhelmed, and we’re worried for them even though we have literally no control over their lives.

We literally h- cannot do anything besides plant seeds, encourage, and let God handle the rest. So when we carry what isn’t ours, we’re trying to act as if we’re God for these other people. So we say, “I do not carry what isn’t mine,” and that is something that I actually say often. When I start feeling like I’m carrying stress of a loved one or a friend, I’m like, “Whew.

Nope, I do not carry what isn’t mine. I do not carry what isn’t mine. I do not carry what isn’t mine.” Like, I say that a lot. I have to remind myself, like, that is their life Everyone makes their own choices, and I literally cannot do anything about it. So I do not carry what isn’t mine. So that is that is that one.

Stillness is not laziness, it’s trust, and then rest is part of my obedience are kind of very similar. So what I just said, stillness is not the same thing as laziness, and when you are allowing yourself to be still, you are choosing to trust God. You’re choosing to just let God handle the things that you are trying so hard to control.

You’re letting Him handle it. So taking a nap earlier, I’m choosing to trust that my business is not gonna fall apart, that I’m not going to get behind, that I’m still going to be able to get through these episodes even though I took just 30 minutes out of my day to rest. I am choosing to trust God. And I understand that rest is part of my obedience.

Like I said, He might be telling you to move to the couch, to move to the bed. He might tell it- be telling you, “Go take a nap,” and you keep telling God, “No, no, no, no, no. I’m okay, God, I’m okay. No, I can handle it, God. I…” But He knows you can’t. He literally knows you can’t, and He’s telling you, ” Go rest.” So rest is part of my obedience, and that is why I allow myself to take naps whenever I feel like I need to.

I know that I will show up as a better version for myself, for my business, for my kids when they get home. You know, how many times have… If you’re a parent, have you snapped at your kids and then you’re like, “Oh, man,” like, “I’m just so tired”? That’s what happens. That’s what happens. And I- that’s not the kind of relationship I want with my kids.

It was definitely going in that direction. There’s definitely backwards work that we’re having to do now with my son, who’s a teenager, and we’re making sure that we’re not repeating the same mistakes with my daughter. And yeah, like, we’re going to rest. Rest is part of our obedience. The other one, I don’t make decisions from fear.

Sometimes we’re so scared that something’s going to go wrong, and we’re trying to stay in control of those things that we make decisions because we’re scared. So, you know, I got faith over fear tatted on me last year because that was a huge one for me. I would make decisions based on fear. I would be scared of something, and then I would decide based on what I felt would not help me be in fear anymore.

There was so many things. There have been so many things that have happened. For example, I definitely grew up in a fearful household, so this was a huge one for me that I’ve had to really learn to let go. And so not making decisions from fear. So even just taking the, the rest, right? That is an example of- If I was fearful that like, oh, I might run out of time, or I might not get to record all of the episodes, um, or what if I forget the content?

I don’t know. But those are fear-based decisions, right? So okay, I’m not gonna take a nap because I don’t want these things to happen. That is a fear-based decision. Um, there was a while when I wouldn’t let my son go to the park. I don’t remember how many years ago this was, but we live in a really good neighborhood, a really good safe neighborhood, and I…

It was like five minutes away. It was five minutes away. He has his phone. I have GPS tracking, and I was scared. I was so scared, and for that reason, he would be at home, stuck at home just indoors. And eventually, I started to really realize, like, I am holding him back from the independence that he can gain from being able to just go around the corner to, pay attention to his surroundings, the growth that he can go through out of my fear that what something’s going to happen when it’s a quiet, safe neighborhood.

And he wasn’t five. Like, he was old enough to where he, he can know what he’s supposed to be doing, right? So I’m not saying that you need to do this, but For me, that was a very obvious and that was a big start to the changes that I was realizing I needed to make. And, you know, my husband grew up very differently, and me realizing that that was coming from my own trauma, my own childhood fears, and wanting to let that go.

So I don’t make decisions from fear is related to that. And then lastly, the my worth is not measured by output or income. This is specifically tied to that hustle mentality. I am not worthy, I am not valuable just because of how much income I make, how much my… how much money my business make. My husband, you know, he is not just a valuable member of this family because of how much work he brings into his business and how, how many bills get paid.

Like, we… That is not how our worth and our value is measured, okay? It’s not measured by how much we do, or how much we earn, or how much we make. That is not how it’s measured. God loves us already just as we are, and all He wants is for us to obey Him. So these are the affirmations that I personally say every single morning, and I really…

If you want to use these exact same ones, go for it. Go for it. Or come up with your own. That’s cool, too. But this is something that you can start saying right now, right after this episode is over, and start incorporating it into your everyday routine. So if life has been a lot for you lately, I want to end with this.

That guilt that shows up when you slow down doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Taking it easy isn’t the laziness that the Bible warns about. That’s avoiding what actually needs your attention. So let it go, refill that space with something true, and let these affirmations be your starting point.

And if you’re the kind of solopreneur who’s great at taking care of everyone else but forgets to take care of yourself, that’s exactly why I built my free community. It’s a space of people juggling real life and business who are trying to figure out how to slow down without the guilt together. So come tell me which of these affirmations landed for you, which ones you’re going to add into your routine, or even share one of your own that you already say to yourself.

I read every single post, every single comment, and I would love to hear what resonated with you. So come on head to cheerstoproductivity.com/community to join us. The link is also in the show notes. I’ll see you there

If this episode inspired you, challenged you, or gave you a fresh perspective, I want to encourage you to take one small action today. And if you want to go deeper and connect with other solopreneurs on a similar journey, come hang out with us inside of our free community. It’s where we keep the conversation going. And be sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss what’s next. Talk soon, and cheers to more peace, faithful steps, and steady progress, one system at a time.